Ben Andersen

Abandoned as an infant in the Swiss Alps, Ben Andersen was raised in an ice cave by a family of wolves. His parents, whom he refers to only as “Wolfdaddy” and “Wolfmama,” taught him, along with his wolf brothers and sisters, to hunt and kill ibex with their teeth. A bright child, Ben wasn’t long in noticing that he was different, and while they were able to dodge his inquiries for several years, telling him that some kids just don’t have as much fur as others, and that his snout would grow in time, Ben eventually saw through their well-intended deceptions and decided to leave the cave in search of others like himself.

When he came upon a hunting party in the woods, he sought to communicate with the hunters using barks and growls, but received only confused stares in response. Desperate, he picked up two sticks and began tapping out a complicated rhythm on a nearby rock. One of the hunters, a kindly circus-owner named Mr. Binky, took Ben under his wing and gave him a warm, dry cage to sleep in with fresh hay and lots of raw meat to eat every day. Mr. Binky also gave Ben a drum and a pair of drumsticks, and Ben toured Europe, and later, the United States as “The Amazing Drumming Wolfboy” the star of Binky and Barley’s Circus Sideshow.

Ten years later, during a tour of the Pacific Northwest, Ben’s best friend Clyde the Piano-Playing Chimp talked him into breaking from the sideshow to start a Seattle grunge rock band. The result, as you well know, was Wolfmonkey, the chart-busting phenom that swept the nation and ended tragically when Clyde was crushed by his own piano when it fell several stories from the window of a night club in Seattle while the chimp was outside enjoying his last cigarette. Some still speculate that Clyde’s fifth wife, Olivia, paid some ape to give the instrument a push.

Clyde the Piano-playing Chimp

Taken shortly before his death, this image shows Clyde and Olivia in happier days.

Lost and alone, Ben wandered the streets of Seattle with his drum, playing for meat and sleeping outside the animal shelter, where the sounds of dogs barking lulled him to sleep each night. It was there that Brandon Koeller stumbled on him, quite literally, and sprained an ankle. Ben tried to communicate using his drum, and while Brandon didn’t really “get” what he was saying, he did bring Ben to the Ruby Shuz practice space at the home of Jessie McKenna, where he has lived quite happily ever since.

Ben recently learned English, legally changed his name from “Wolfboy” to “Ben Andersen,” and is a relatively productive member of society. He plays for the Seattle Seahawks drum line, but says “I really prefer the Dawgs.”

Ben’s supersecret superhero persona is “Lunacy.” In honor of the wolves who raised him, Ben chose the moon as his symbol. Ben fights evil with his wit, which sends enemies into gales of uncontrollable laughter. If they don’t laugh, he resorts to the ancient art of drumstick-fu.

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One Response to “Ben Andersen”

  1. He’s actually really clean considering…

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